Five Christmas Songs for People Who Hate Christmas Songs

There are two problems with Christmas music: It’s usually very sappy and you wind up hearing the same songs over and over again. If you like loud music, it’s even harder to enjoy. Here are some metal and punk rock songs for your Christmas playlist.

Type O Negative – “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)”

Gloomy metal band Type O Negative’s frontman Peter Steele may have written the most depressing Christmas song ever. It’s nearly seven minutes of a gloomy dirge, with Steele singing about the sadness of family members who have since passed and how only red wine can wash away these memories. Adding to the sadness are musical elements borrowed from other Christmas carols and sound effects ranging from children crying to the breaking of Christmas ornaments. It really is a dark Christmas masterpiece.


The Misfits – “You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch”

The venerable horror punk rock band the Misfits is known for singing about monsters and other creepy types, so it is only appropriate that they would have their own take on the most notable song from 1966’s “Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” television special. The song is on last year’s “Horror Christmas” EP, along with the original Christmas song “Island of Misfit Toys” and a cover of Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas.”


Ronnie James Dio – “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”

No one has ever said this was their favorite Christmas carol. However, when you have Ronnie James Dio sing it, the song suddenly turns into a dreary metal ballad. If you think it sounds like something from Black Sabbath’s “Heaven and Hell” era, you’re right. Tony Iommi contributes his unmistakable guitar sound to this track.


The Ramones – “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)”

The holidays aren’t just presents and candy canes; they usually wind up with a lot of unnecessary stress and arguing. The Ramones wound up writing and recording the only Christmas song that acknowledges this on their 11th album, Brain Drain. Lyrically the song reminds us that maybe we should just stop bickering with each only, if just for Christmas.


Lemmy Kilmister and Friends – “Run Run Rudolph”

If the thought of metal god and Motorhead bassist Lemmy Kilmister, ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons and Dave Grohl collaborating on something wasn’t mind blowing enough, imagine them covering this Chuck Berry Christmas classic. This song is rock and roll magic.


By Chris Barnes