I’m back, it’s Millie with Millie in the City Matchmaking with the number one dating and relationship forum in the Washington, DC Metropolitan area. Now that we have gotten that out the way, I want to discuss Multiple Dating. So in honor of that, this article is appropriately titled: One Date, Two Dates, Three Dates, Four!
I have been talking with Single Women again, as I tend to do, and many of them say that they have been in some series relationships and some have been in some not so series ones. These women have admitted that these relationships have ended because of their shortcomings, some ended because of the man’s shortcomings, and some ended because they/the man/ or we were so desperate to be in a relationship that we took what we could get, regardless of actual compatibility. With that said, many of the women said that they realized that they might be in a stage in their life where they honestly couldn’t rely on their own judgment when it came to men.
I myself can be held accountable for practically doing the same thing as these women so I, and these women, are trying something new. Now we are being open to dating in multiples.
Here is what we have learned so far: (Do’s & Don’ts of Dating Multiple People):
DO – Date multiple people – If you are doing your single thing, go on with your bad self! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeing multiple people at the same time.
DO – This is your chance at an attempt to get to know the men you are dating rather than just sleeping with them. Now, dating multiples is one thing, having sex with multiple is another thing entirely. Personally, I’ve got love for both sides, but I highly recommend making a sincere attempt at getting to know those you choose go out with. After all, isn’t part of finding yourself figuring out what kind of people you’re really into?
DO – Use condoms, for Goodness sake!! – Wrap it up, THE END!
DO – Be Honest – If you are your dating, please be honest and just say, “I’m dating”.
DO – Clean up your tracks – No one wants to know that they are sharing. Even if you, your partner, and his mother knows that you are dating and/or sleeping around, it is common courtesy to erase all traces of another man sharing your bed/house/car/whatever with another.
DON’T – Feel guilty – If you are upfront and honest and not secretive about your actions, there is no reason to feel guilty. There’s a big difference between confessing your love for someone and going out to lunch or dinner.
DON’T – Cultivate feelings – Let me be clear, having feelings is not a bad thing, in fact, I am an advocate and encourage it. What I am saying is that if you have already established that you are keeping it casual—-then Keep it casual. Whatever you do, don’t say you feel nothing when you actually feel everything. This point is one I’m still working on myself, so don’t feel bad if you can’t be cool as a cucumber 24/7.
DON’T – Kiss and tell to someone you’re kissing. – This should be obvious, but sadly, for many it is not. I am pretty confident in assuming that no matter the gender, we as humans don’t like sharing private parts—or at least, knowing that we are sharing.
DON’T – Overbook – Never schedule one meeting on top of another. The chances of overlap are just far too great, and the consequences are even greater.
DON’T – Assume that you are – This is another obvious one. If you are dating casually then you mustn’t assume that who you are dating is not doing the same casual dating thing that you are doing. PSA Announcement – Don’t casually date if you can’t handle it.
In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with casually dating to figure things out so you don’t end up getting hurt or hurting someone else. After all, this is all about you! You’re not obligated to do anything other than look out for yourself, so go out there and Date and go out on Dates!
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