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Sir, Will You Marry Me?

Sir, Will You Marry Me?

marryme

I’m back, it’s Millie with Millie in the City Matchmaking with the number one dating and relationship forum in the Washington, DC Metropolitan area.  Now that we have gotten that out the way, I want to discuss the new women’s movement, “Will you Marry Me”?  I have seen many Facebook videos on women now getting down on one knee and proposing to men.  So in honor of that, this article is appropriately titled: Sir, Will You Marry Me?

Yes, you heard me right, there is a new women’s movement.  Before you get too excited about thoughts of women taking over the world and declaring world domination, this is a slightly different kind of women’s movement. This movement now has made it easier for us women to crush through many glass ceilings, have children if and when we want, and enjoy casual hook-ups, nonetheless one effect does not exactly seem like something to celebrate: More women now are popping the age ‘ole’ traditional question that has usually done by the man.  I was looking at a poll yesterday  that 1 in 10 women are asking their man to marry them because they got tired of waiting to him to do it.  (just gag me with a spoon)

Hopefully, I am sure that there are instances where it makes sense that the woman feels completely confident in her decision to be the one to propose marriage. Hey, I say more power to those women!  In my opinion, I would think having to ask the man for his hand in marriage does more harm than good and probably has the direct opposite of the women empowerment movement.

I know so many female friends who live with their significant others and they, in my opinion, do enough for their men as it is, i.e., at least 50% of the housework, most of the grocery shopping and most of the cooking—all while working their own jobs.  I would think that having to also put the burden on yourself to propose to your guy is almost like saying “Oh okay and sure thing sweetie, I am more than willing to take on ALL the work including asking you to be my husband.” I am sorry, screw that!  I wonder if most of the single women in this world feel that at least a man could do is make up his own mind to get married, plan the proposal, and get on one knee (any of these statements registering ladies?)

Moreover, don’t we really want to know that he made up in his own mind to propose furthermore, wouldn’t you always wonder if/when/how he would have done it himself?  I know–I would!  To be honest, when I read further into the survey it found that 75% of women who asked their men to marry them wished their partner had beaten them to it.  It really is not anti-feminist to allow your man to take the initiative sometimes in fact, it is the same thing as letting him be the one to get you flowers or enjoying when he is the one initiating a good time in bed. I live and breathe on what the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger has preached, there are certain times we need to let our men wear the pants and lead the way. He will feel more secure and, therefore, happier, and in turn, so will you. It’s a relationship win-win. (Love her)

Will all of this and in conclusion, I do not mind if you call me old-fashioned, but I cannot help but think most women will be more satisfied — and their relationships will be better off — if they let marriage proposals remain a man’s job.  But this leads me to the most important question of the day:  Are you for or against women asking their men to marry them?

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Millie Holmes

12 Comments

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  • Millie Holmes – I myself do not understand this new movement

  • Tracy Lee Anderson – Whatever floats your boat although for me, I’m ol’fashion….

  • Millie Holmes – I don’t think I could do it tho Tracy Lee Anderson.

    Cee Cee Eva Dorsey – I agree with Tracy Lee Anderson

    Millie Holmes – I am upset that it has been coined a woman’s movement

  • Jamila JG Guyton – I couldn’t I agree with Tracy

  • Lady S had this to say: Every time one of those videos of a woman proposing comes across my newsfeed, I cringe. It doesn’t “empower” us as women – it makes us look desperate.

    If a girlfriend wants a ring, she needs to stop acting like a wife. Some things should be saved for a man who has committed to being a faithful Husband. I had a relationship that wasted too much time on a man who loved the “wifey perks”, but was hesitant to lock it down with a ring. I knew better than to propose to him because I believed that the mate that God had for me would not have to be chased down or given an ultimatum. Hard lesson to learn but it set me up to understand my worth and what I deserve: a love that is as strong, committed, faithful, unselfish, and real and SURE as I am.

    It didn’t take my fiancé a million years to know I was the one and to make it official with a ring and a proposal.

    Some men might lack the maturity to be ready for marriage or some might not desire it at all. But they should at least be upfront about it.

    I’ve heard that a man goes hard for what he really wants. And if the woman has to propose marriage, then she probably isn’t what he truly wants.

  • K Lowery Moore said in response to Lady S – In a lot of cases women “persuade” marriage whether we want to admit it or not… I’ve known some women to give ultimatums when they are trying to persuade a man to make a move. Not sure if I agree with asking the “specific” question though. I will read the article and give my thoughts

  • K Lowery Moore Yeah, I am not going to ask a man to marry me or much of anything else when it comes to pursuing me. But one thing I do know is a lot of women persuade marriage one way or another. It’s rare that men will just take these leap without a little push. Yes, I do know there are some men that know what they want and will go after their woman caveman style, but the fact is most men aren’t doing that. Women typically asks questions like, “when are we going to get married” or “when are we going to have children” to light the fire under a man’s feet.

  • Lady S said: My experience was that from the start, N was “courting” me. He told me his intentions up front – once it was clear that we were adding romance to our enduring friendship. We both knew that courtship (as opposed to “dating”) would eventually lead to a marriage.

  • K’s reply to Lady S: yep and it happens like that when two people are on the same page looking to move in the same direction

  • K said: Everyone you meet may not be where you are in life so it makes it a bit more challenging for some of us, but I know I am not asking a man to marry me. Hell, I am not even going to be in pursuit like that although the book I’m ready suggests it’s okay for women to be in pursuit…I just don’t agree. Once I make my interest known, it’s up to him to make the right moves. But as the book says, that is because that is how we were taught so that is now part of our belief system. Some people are raised differently…

  • Lady S said – And there is just something deliciously satisfying about being pursued! wink emoticon

    K Lowery Moore said: Yep, but I have flirted like hell until it became his idea….lol, those were the good ol’ days. I’m just exhausted now smh

  • Lady AD said: Yeah I’m not for women asking for their man’s hand in marriage. I think the practice emasculates men. However, I do understand certain relationships may require extreme situations in order to get a change in behavior. I knew a girl who asked her man to marry her bc she had been with him for years and grew tired of waiting for him to propose. She bought his ring, set a romantic setting and asked him to get married. Luckily, he said yes and they were engaged. At a later time, he bought her an engagement ring and they married.